stand by you

Hands, put your empty hands in mine
And scars, show me all the scars you hide
And hey, if your wings are broken
Please take mine so yours can open too
Cause I'm gonna stand by you
Oh, tears make kaleidoscopes in your eyes
And hurt, I know you're hurting, but so am I
And love, if your wings are broken
Borrow mine 'til yours can open too
Cause I'm gonna stand by you

even if we're breaking down, we can find a way to break through, even if we can't find heaven, i'll walk through hell with you

love, youre not alone coz i'm gonna stand by you 

 -Rachel Platten-

this is one of my favourite songs right now. the beat is like really catchy pastu lyrics dia pun cam really meaningful as i can relate to it. sukaaa sangat.

my final started yesterday. hehe. dah dua sleepless night dah ni. pagi tadi sumpah cam orang zombie time jawab paper petrochem. haha taktau laaa camne result petrochemm ni. elak repeat je. pleaseeee tamao repeat dahhh. takde masa ah nak repeat tahun depan dah dengan fyp ngn muet nyaaa. God please have mercy for my final exammm..

dahlaa semalam mama dengan papa datang sebelum paper reactorr. rasa terharuu sangat. rasa macam tak sanggup nak buat main main dah. thank youu.

BIRTHDAY ECAH, BOBREPUBLIC MUZZAFFAR

do check out this song from the chainsmokers. because i think it's really good. ear candy .

hey guyss, i should be studying right now, but i'm writing here instead. i really wanna post a new entry since its been a while. i wish i can found the right mood to study because i haven't done any studying that is efficient enough.

and my baby karlie is sick. i am so worried about her. all of her kittens slipped away. and i don't know where to find them. her breast is bengkak because there are milk stucks in there because no one drinks it. i feel so bad for her. and she is in fever. please pray for her.

you know, i've been struggling with this kind of things/feelings and i don't want to feel it anymore. i just wanna be positive. i just wanna feel okay and all. i hope one day i'd found the right thing to do to make it go away.

last night has been a great night. we drove to ayer keroh to celebrate ecah's birthday. there is this hipster-like place, 'Bobrepublic'. Thanks to pipah as i don't have idea for a good, nice, place. Bob republic is actually a good one, but i expected there's a lot of customers but there were few. or maybe its because we came on weekdays. maybe its fullhouse on weekends. the decorations is ok. the food is nice. as for me, i ordered this burger called DEAR LOVE. the burger is filled with beef bacon, beef meat and vegetables. and it's bread is black. this black color attracted me the most actually, besides the bacon. and the meat is so juicy i must say. and there is this one burger that look so unique, BURGER RAMEN. let's take a look on the burgers.

burger 'dear love'

dear love and sky high

burger ramen

i don't capture what khai and ecah were eating, that is salmon and chicken chop, but they taste good too. so here's some memories that i would like to share,,

fyi, the cake is brought at delizah cake house dekat pengkalan je. the cake taste good and it is less pricey too. sesuai utk kita kita yang student ni. yelah jimat jimat jugak, tapi apa la salah buat kawan happy setahun sekali. cewahh!

love, shera

why i got you on my mind

you didn't love me no, not really

hey gais, i don't know if you guys really exist or nah but if you do i just wanna say thank you and i appreciate you for spending your time here reading about what's going on in my life. i'm supposedly doing my reactor video right now but i'm really have zero motivation and really uninspired and not in the correct mood to do those things. i'm really in need of catalyst. maybe just anyone i love showing they care for me and just giving me a piece of advice or nice talks or nice texts or anything. but sadly, i had none of them. i have to depend 100% on myself, find the strength in myself, find my own spirit. there's a lot of people around me that claim that they care but i always doubt them. i always find it's hard to trust people. i always thought that it's unnecessary to express my feelings especially when i'm sad or mad or something isn't going right. because usually in the beginning people will act all nice but i'll have them leave in the end. and i'm sick of that. i'm so sick of that same old love/ relationship/ friendship/ bestfriendship.

i'm so sick of that same old love, that shit it tears me up, i'm so sick of that same old love my body had enough

 as a human, i have the fear of being alone. i bet everybody does. but, i also cannot bear the feeling when you stay with the wrong person. the one that didn't scared losing you because they thought you will never leave. i couldn't bear the pain staying with the one that treat me like i didnt worth. the one that never proud to have me around. that never remember things that i hate nor like. act like i dont matter at all. treat me like an option. the one that ignore my sadness like nothing happened. take my kindness for granted. these people are those that make me feel hard to fall asleep at night. one day, i will leave but not today. because i'm giving you chances. i hope one day you realize.

or maybe i'm better off alone. but i dont know. i always meet people that don't deserve me. this post may reflect negativity but that's just me saying my thought so daaa!

tomorrow i got lab session for reactor tech and lecture for process control which i found hard not to fall asleep to. i think the slide is too simple. she should have added color to make it more interesting or at least may reduce the sleepiness and the boredomness. i also find it hard to relate process control lecture with anything else so that i could understand the lecture. lol maybe its just me. but the make up that miss ruby wear is so stunning tho. her eye make up is so stunning but still couldn't resist me from feeling sleepy. #sorrynotsorry

iREALLYreallyREALLY need to complete this video thinggy this night laa. because i wanna go out this thursday night. to watch the new hunger games movie. yeay [happyface] but heyy my reactor video! [sadface] .

pens off now maybe, need to get back to work.

hurt

stone cold, stone cold, you see me standing but i'm dying at the floor, stone cold, stone cold maybe if i dont cry i won't feel anymore.....

stone cold by demi lovato. i'm listening to this song right now while i'm writing this post. best lagu ni, it suits demi's classy voice so well with strong high notes everywhere. for me, this song describe a very sad feeling, dissapointment, where she's trying hard to be happy eventhough her heart is breaking. she dont want to be stone cold anymore. actually i'm kinda sad right now. okay, so sebelum you guys baca lebih mendalam lagi, i just wanna tell you that i dont want to be harsh, but this is what i feel. i'm blessed with deep set of emotions and that's me.

why? there's so many reason but one of them is because of the way some people treat me. i think i dont deserve to be treated like that. i fuckin feel down you know when i've been treated like that. all my life i'm trying hard to accept myself for who i am. i'm trying hard to be happy with me. there's some time i feel like undeserving, i felt so lost, i felt like i dont want to hold on anymore, i felt like quitting, i felt like shit, i dont feel worth it, i cried, i bleed. aku rasa lemah sangat. tapi aku cuba simpan semua tu. aku biar je sakit kat dalam. aku cuba terima semua benda yang aku tak suka, aku cuba sayang kat diri aku. aku cuba hargai apa yang aku ada. apa capabilities aku. setiap kali aku tak dapat buat something, know that i tried hard. kau tahu tak apa perasaan bila kau dah bina defence dalam diri kau supaya sayang and percaya diri kau semua and ada manusia yang syaiton perangainya come and took it all away like that.

species yang suka look down dekat orang lain ni memang menjijikkan. can you go fuck yourself! kau ingat semua benda kau je yang capable nak buat? kau je yang pandai? just becoz you are louder, doesnt mean you are better. kau pandang rendah kat orang lain. you become deaf to other's opinion because you think ure wiser. semua benda kau je nak buat sebab kau kan pandai sangat bagus sangat kan. tak boleh macam tu, kau akan buat orang lain rasa macam tak dihargai, tak diperlukan it. lagipon its not individual work, its a group work. i fucking have rights, okay. tak tahulah kalau kau rasa aku ni tak matang benda kecik pon nak brag. suka hati aku lah. nak cakap aku emotional? just go on cakap lah apa pun . memang aku born this way pon. tak semua orang sama macam expectation kau. i fucking have feelings. and it hurts me. it fucking hurts. all this time, i fucking treat you well. eventho there's so many perangai kau yang very hurtful,rude and tah pape. i just pretended that i'm cool i'm okay i'm strong.

i kenot brain lah orang yang takde perasaan macam ni. may karma/kifarah strike you harder. sorry for harshing the words but i wont feel sorry for standing up for myself. lupa pulak aku nak cakap yang aku bersemangat je nak conduct eksperimen tu, but you fucking beriya you know? macam lah kau tahu semua benda. macam lah kau je yang boleh buat benda tu. pastu kalau kau nak mengeluh yang kau buat semua benda pon tak boleh okay. kau hanya boleh cakap yang kau beriya nak buat semua benda je. i fucking wanna help okay. tp bila kau dah beriya sangat sampai nak membelakangkan aku time aku nak tolong, aku dah takde mood okay. i really kenot brain your miss know it all perangai. buat lah sama sama. its not fucking INDIVIDUAL thinggy doh!

kilang bateri, boatnoodles

HEY GUYS,

today is national cat day. celebration to these little babies. you guys do light up my days all these while, bucik, kuning, atan, amoi, keen, natasya, karlie and her babies. love you all to the moon and never come back. suka sangat cuddle with with my babies sebab it will make u feel happy lagi lagi kalau i have a bad days. it helps okay. seriously.

rip keen

actually i have sad news, my mid sem holidays will end soon. and rasa tak cukup sangat. malas nak balik sana nak hadap benda yang susah lagi menyusahkan. hmm. well, that is that.

 sekarang ni nak cerita sikit ni. yesterday i went to kilang bateri yang terletak di johor bahru. kilang bateri ni bagi aku adalah tempat untuk budak hipster melepak. haha just kidding, takdelaa hipster sangat pon, orang orang bekerja pon ada je makan makan kat situ sebenarnya. kat situ ada banyak pilihan makanan ada cereal, ais krim gulung, steak steak, mi berkuah pon ada. sushi pon ada k. katanyaa dulu tempat tu memang kilang pon, and then ada orang yg beli so dia ubah sikit tempat tu jadik macam place for kafe2, boutique2. bagi shae tempat tu memang lawa laa. besar. dia punya papan tanda tu lawa sangat okey. preach the designer. and still ada part yang tengah renovate lagi. bila dah siap semua mesti lagi lawa kan. so shae pergi situ tengahari dalam pukul 1.30 pm . panas laa sikit sebab takde aircond. tapi kalau pergi malam mesti lg best. kat bahagian atas tu ada satu kafe tau nama dia 'fulltank'. baru usha kat insta semalam. nampak gah la tempat dia dalam insta. dengan decoration dia berambu ramba bagai. tp masa shae pergi semalam macam tak bukak lg. one day, nak pergi situ malam and nak check it out that cafe.

ais krim gulung

and kat situ ada 'lets get cereal' yang shae selalu tengok dalam insta. shae tak makan pon tp adalaa tangkap gambar harga menu dia. nah check it out:

boleh nampak ke? hihi sorry la kalau tak membantu

just us taking selfie infront of the cereal's stall. nabila tengah tahan sakit masa ni sebenarnya.

nampak meriah en . cuba laa try tengok depan depan pulak. hiks

semalam pergi sana dengan nabila, aqila, n jihan. aqila dengan nabila tu my friends since primary school lagi. they're still nice kids like i used to know them dulu. i hope u guys never change :) malam tu dapat tahu nak keluar dengan korang rasa excited tau sebab dah lama tak sembang sembang dengan korang. shae suka je buat kawan baru atau lepak dengan orang yang tak biasa sebab nak try keluar dari comfort zone. kat situ laa kita nak uji communication skill kita. gittew. haha jihan tu  memang shae takde idea langsung siapa dia ni. sejak dari keluar semalam baru tahu, jihan ni bakal doktor rupanya. budak bijak ni. wherever you go, may Allah bless and protect you, okay.

ni laa aqilaa.

so during my trip to that kilang bateri, i bought these pair of clothes (dress and that jeans jacket) because they look so pretty. and shae dah pakai pun harini because i'm so tashabarr. maklumlaa harini ada date. hiks. nak tahu shae date dengan sape? next post ai bagitau okey.

lawa kan ? (cakap je lawa k, jaga hati sikit)

cerita pasal boatnoodles nanti laa cerita. i am penat laa. dah la blogger ni buat hal plak tadi. org nak letak gambar kat bawah kat bawah jelah. yang gelabah sangat alihkan gambar orang pahal. grrr!

pens off now, till then..

week 6 dilemma, big ice bowl melakaa

hai gais,

finally dapat jugak update blog malam ni . yeayy ! actually i'm trying to paste emojis on previous post but it turn out to be 'kotak and tanda soal' what the!! kalau takde emoji macam hambar sikit rasa bila type sesuatu . tapi rasa macam malas gila tau sebenarnya sebab i is mengantuk . boleh kata dah seminggu tak cukulp tidur .. too many assignments too little time. pastu dah semua deadline minggu ni . i is dead. rip me. tp i manage to hidup semula. i is immortal. 

let me summarize what make me so serabutss

1. kuiz process control

2.lab report seperation, pilot plant

3. test plant utility (sumpah soalan yg keluar tu jahat gilaaa!)

4. assignment process control (still tak hantar lol. deadline extent)

5. kuiz petrochem (baru je tadi. izzah bagi tiru.sayang izzah)

6. esok ade kuiz online thermo (nak buat kuiz sambil makan pizza hoyeahh!!)

7. assignment pilot plant yang 5% (dah submit semalam . hiks)

not bragging , just sharing. banyak sangat kerja hasil procastination. ya Allah lindungilaa aku dari perasaan malas. so minggu depan i bakal busy jugak because i had several test :

1. petrochem(selasa)

2. reactor(rabu)

3. pilot plant (jumaat)

4. thermo (jumaat)

5. process control(khamis)

doakan la supaya sis tabah dan tak patah semangat. last weekend, i go to this place, nama dia big ice bowl. kat batu berendam . tapi kat melaka ni ada lebih dari satu kot. satu lagi kat mp-dp (mahkota parade bagi yang tak tahu). tak sampai sejam pon dari alor gajah. jom check it out apa yang kitorg order.

gambar ni guna samsung jee

via iphong 5

my thought on this ais kepal :

uhm, sedap giler kot . suka sangatt. i pilih perisa caramel mango. kongsi duorang. the serving size is okay . rasa macam banyak. kongsi duorang still puas. kalau nak makan sorang pun okay je cuma sebab dia manis. kalau korang jenis menjaga kandungan gula dalam badan makan laa share share. range harga pulak bermula dari rm 7. i dah tak ingat rege dia berapa lol yang i punya. yang kaler chocolate tu chocolate with mix fruit kot nama dia. dah tak ingat nama full dia.

big ice bowl got me like....

elid sibuk makan lol

last but not least, just wanna share these two great song from alex and sierra, 'little do you know' and 'i love you'. the song 'i love you' is rumored to be the song that harry styles wrote to taylor swift but he's disguising as someone else by using the name 'mick greenberg'. haha i oso not sure about this sooooo i guess that's all for now . already sleepy zzzz

new blog , sleepover , old friend

i'm only up when you're not down , don't wanna fly if you still on the ground  

nak cuba tulis blog , tapi still tak tahu nak susun bahasa elok elok . apa apa pun at least i tried kan . okey sebenarnya before ni dah ada create beberapa blog dah termasuk dengan tumblr pun . but all those blogs ended up being neglected . #sorrynotsorry . tapi sebelum ni memang tulis benda tak berfaedah pun . pasal feelings lah . macam tah hape hape je . kurkur sikit . tapi kali ni macam nak tulis something yang macam berguna , informative , inspiring . ceh sembang je . benda yang macam memorable pun bolehlaa . 

and i hope that i could gain readers from what i write . sebab mestilah kita nak orang baca kan apa yang kita tulis . barulah rasa macam tak sia sia . kalau tak nak ada orang baca baik tulis dekat diary . during my younger days , i used to have diaries because there are so many feelings inside me that i couldn't keep inside . so i wrote it down to make it go away and stop bothering me . tak tahulah kenapa masa dulu dulu emo sangat . hormon tak stabil mungkin .

and one more thing , i hope with writing this blog i could increase my writing skills . kah !

okay . sekarang ni saya dah masuk semester 4 dah pun . tinggal dua sem je lagi nak habis . hmm kenapa lah rasa macam sekejap sangat . sem ni rasa kena buat betul betul sebab banyak yang kene kejar . CGPA terutamanya . orang lain ada 16 jam kredit je . yang kau sampai 18 . tahlanak . rasa macam impossible , rasa macam tak mampu . tapi saya still go on and cabar diri sendiri . do or die . 

that's one thing . 

here's another thing . okay apa perasaan kalau dapat tahu your highschool bestfriend is going to the same university as yours . that is what happened to me . i couldn't be more happier . i'm like so happy . sebabnya masa form 4 dia pindah maktab and that's one of the sad thing in my life . but i'd also learnt some life lessons from that . not all people that we love will stay in our life forever . we don't deserve to be sad over people . sebab tulaa kita perlu belajar jadi independent . takkan la hidup kita nak bergantung kat orang je . 

memandangkan sekarang ni tengah weekends so kitorang pun buatla sleepover party . 

gambar kat bawah tu hasil make up daripada ingredients yang ada kat gambar first tu . chocolate bar pallette tu bau dia coklat sangat . love it! 200 pictures in one night .

okay lah pens off now . sayang semua 😘😘